Focusing on What Divides Us Divides Us

Love Doesn’t Wait On Understanding

Love doesn’t have to understand its object fully.

Indeed, it never can.

As for love, so for empathy and compassion.

A human being, and all of her experiences, can never be fully understood.

No one even fully understands himself – let alone anyone else.

Parents do not fully understand their children – but they love them nonetheless – even unconditionally.

We make a huge mistake when we demand that others must understand us – and on our own terms – before we accept their compassion or allow ourselves to have compassion for them.

This demand …

The Common Objects of Our Love – a Response to Biden’s Inauguration Speech

I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican.

I am, however, an American – a status I spent 12 years of my life and tens of thousands of dollars pursuing.

In recognition of that legally and emotionally brutal journey to citizenship, a dear friend gifted me one of the flags that flew above the Capitol on the day I became an American.  It arrived with a certificate that had been signed by one of the people’s representatives who then worked in the building it flew over.

That flag is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received …

How To (and How Not to) Communicate as a Humilitarian

Humilitarians commit to some fundamental principles of discourse and treatment of others.

However, even with the best will in the world, sometimes we don’t realize when we’re falling short of our own principles. That is especially true when it comes to how we talk to, and about, others in a political discussion. Politics is a particularly challenging domain for productive conversation because feelings run high and mutual distrust can cause us to question the intent or morality of those with whom we disagree.

So here are some rules of thumb to follow in the way you converse with others (in …

TwinsTheNewTrend: Diversity and Its Appreciation

Finding common ground, delaying judgement and appreciation for different experiences are hallmarks of Humilitarian. And, so it seems, are they for twin brothers Tim & Fred Williams of Indiana. The result is a connection with the 600K+ subscribers to their YouTube channel (TwinsthenewTrend) that brings moments of joy to a diverse audience. While music may be the common ground for the Williams brothers and their fans, the principles that seem to guide them make it so much easier to find. If we could all practice such open mindedness when approaching others of different experiences and backgrounds in our political …

When do Humilitarians call BS?

Upon discovering “humilitarian”, a large majority of people have understood it and love it: they see what it is, why it is, and why now is its time.

A few, however, have an ounce of hesitation, like this NFL agent, who wrote to me recently as follows.

“I have never been one to hold my tongue when it comes to someone doing something ‘bad.’ …

I am a firm believer that everyone has a right to think what they want, whether political, religious, etc… 

But I will say something if I totally do not agree with what’s being said…

My …

Spencer Cox and Chris Peterson – humilitarians for Governor of Utah?

When I interviewed Nate Boyer for the launch of Humilitarian, he made the excellent point that approaching each other with humility and respect may not be easy, but it is simple.

One of the taglines you’ll find on the website is: “we don’t have to wait for America to change because America is US.”

Both Nate and Humilitarian have been nicely proved right by a very simple decision, nicely executed, of two politicians on opposite side of the political divide – Spencer Cox and Chris Peterson who are running against each other for the office of Governor of the …